Working Effectively With Homosexuals and Those Struggling with Same Sex Attractions

Working Effectively With Homosexuals and Those Struggling with Same Sex Attractions

Working Effectively With Homosexuals and Those Struggling with Same Sex Attractions


By Bill Irwin

I am going to discuss a subject that many will consider off limits. As long as their minds are not receptive to God’s inerrant, truthful, living Word, they need to be listening to this kind of monologue. We Christians can ban together and begin changing our “Secular Progressive” conventional wisdom with the truth!

I get calls almost every week from young people telling me that they have just come out to announce to their parents, teachers, and friends at school and church that they are now gay and proud of it!  “If you are so proud of being gay, then why are you calling a ministry that has the purpose to help those struggling with this issues?” I always ask.  They always begin squirming in discomfort.  Then I ask them, “How do you identify yourself in your own mind? Most of them quickly answer that they are a gay man or woman.  Then I ask them, “how would you think that I would identify myself (since they know i am blind), since you don’t even know me well?” and always they say without hesitation, ‘you are a blind man.’ “But I don’t identify myself that way in my own mind.” I tell them, “There are so many other things that I can say that identify me.”  Then some ask, “Oh, yeah, then what?”  “I am a child of the living God who created the universe, everything in it, including you and me!”  “This is how I see myself in my own mind.” And they drop the conversation in silence.

This is very disturbing to those of them who have been duped by the gay activist community because they are not necessarily truly homosexuals or even dealing with same sex attraction.  Many of them are just dazzled by all the attention this gets them from their peers and friends!

These two issues, same sex attraction  and homosexuality are distinctively different and have to be treated that way by everyone who is working with their captives.

Same sex attracted people are not necessarily living in habitual sin like those who are actively engaging in a homosexual relationship.

The Bible-believing church is failing to correctly address the topic.  Church people usually speak in terms of “sin” and “sexual orientation” change and in doing so, they drive same-sex attracted people away.  They especially fail to meet the needs of young Christians who struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions. When the church does not serve these people, many develop gay identities and pursue gay behaviors because they see no other way to live.  This is a shame!

We need to consider same sex attracted Christians “our people” and then help them fashion their identities based on their relationships to Christ, not on their sexual attractions.  It is all about God’s love; His perfect love!

In this  world, we’ve allowed our culture to choose the terms of the conversation, says Dr. Mark Yarmouth. When a young person is at the stage of figuring out his or her sexual identity, the gay culture hands him a set of guidelines that are in essence a “gay script.”  It goes like this:

*    Same-sex attractions are natural (God-given) for you.

*    Same-sex attractions are who you “really are” as a person (the script emphasizes discovery of your real identity).

*    Since same-sex attractions are the core of which you are, same-sex behavior is natural for you.

*    “Self-actualization” (behavior in line with who you “really are”) is necessary for your personal fulfillment.

When a heterosexual person attempts to question or judge homosexual behavior, according to this script, it comes across to them like we a rejecting the “real them” and their true identity. The culture uses the word “gay” to mean same-sex attracted with a presumption of same-sex behavior and political beliefs; that is, one word covers many aspects that fundamentally differ.

What does the church offer our youth as an alternative to this set of beliefs? At present we have no agreed-upon script except one: homosexual acts are sin, and same sex attraction persons should seek counseling to change their orientations.

We need to change our dialogs for two very good reasons: counseling is not effective for everyone, and, more important, changing sexual orientation should not be the main emphasis for a Christian. The essence of our call to sanctity is leading a life submitted to Christ.

For those reasons we should adopt a dialog that promotes these ideas to those who think that gay is cool and they need to try it upon the advice of the gay activist community who all are seeking more recruits; misery loves company!

Our new scripts of truths about these subjects should read like these:

*    Same-sex attraction is not the core of a personality, but one of many human experiences after the fall that are “not the way it’s supposed to be.”

*    You may experience same-sex attractions, but they do not define you.

*    You can choose either to integrate your attractions into a gay identity or into another identity, based on other parts of your experience.

*    “The most compelling aspect of person-hood for the Christian is one’s identity in Christ, a central and defining aspect of what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ!

Then we can begin to minister to them all with their right relationship with Jesus Christ and they get the freedom they will now choose!

Since our tertiary purpose is supporting the Christian community by doing what we can for our local churches, we offer to come out and speak on this subject to those who are most vulnerable to this kind of brain-washing; your youth! Affected by the lies of the gay activist’s community we offer to tell God’s truth and explain how they can benefit from our programs that directly address all kinds of relational and sexual brokenness

To learn more about Free Indeed and its highly successful programs please go to

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