Some times it is easy for us wives to say about our husbands, “how could they struggle with porn and all that filth?” We get disgusted with their out of controlled desires and wonder why they just don’t get it together. All the while, there can be a huge log in our own eye the entire time we are trying to remove the splinter from theirs. Why does it seem we have no patience or compassion when it comes to this sin? When we are hurt over something we hate to think we could do something as ugly as that, but in fact we are all capable of the same thing and the sin of self-righteousness is just as much a stench to God as porn. We seem to forget about the emotional affairs of the mind, or the fantasies we secretly imagine, the “what if I had married him instead” fantasy. What about noticing a nice looking man that is well built and look twice? The fact is we sin too, every day. God wants us to keep a humble heart so that He can give us the grace we need to face the pain that comes into our lives through sexual addiction. If we are not careful, pain can give way to self pity, which can give way to justifying our own sin and end up tearing down our own home through hurtful words.
Forgiveness is the key
We need to recognize God’s forgiveness for us was given with a great price and extend that same forgiveness to the one who has betrayed us. This road is less traveled and difficult, but like Paul said,”I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Paul found the answer to being content in all situations, and it is Christ. Paul could have given in to sin and self pity, but instead he decided to be thankful and look to Christ in the middle of his problems. Philippians 4 has a lot to say about this, I would encourage you to read this again today.
Anna Robinson is head women’s coach with Free Indeed and works with wives suffering from their husbands sex addiction and betrayal. Help for hurting wives is a phone call away 207-945-3424.
