Porn creates vicious cycles of hellish living in a Christians life.
I can remember falling into porn on Friday or Saturday night, telling God how sorry i was and that it would never happen again and then go to Church like everything was fine. I thought because I was sorry and that I was trying that I was doing all that could be expected. How wrong I was and how warped my thinking had become! My “repentance” was so very superficial and fell far short of the Biblical pattern of restoration.
I needed to come into the light completely and make thorough amends to all the people i had harmed. I needed help and support, to be in an intensive discipleship/accountability relationship and deal drastically with my sin and all the avenues sin was invading my life and family. I needed to confess my double life to my poor wife who knew deep down something was terribly wrong as our marriage was disintegrating day by day. I needed to beg her forgiveness on bended knee and wash her feet with my tears of genuine humility and brokenness. I needed to beg God to grant me a pure heart and pure mind and make me into the husband and father i needed to be. Like a fool I tried to do it all myself and my stubborn pride cost my family so much pain. It took a terrible fall to finally open my eyes to my deep selfishness and pride that was dominating my life.
Free Indeed was there to help pick up the pieces and lead us to the One who gives beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning. Free Indeed understood me and the paramount need for my mind to be renewed and retrained. When I began to take effective control of my thought life and embrace a lifestyle of humility and gratitude, it’s like I sprouted wings like an eagle and began to soar. When I truly tasted free living, I never wanted to go back to that miserable pit of depravity.
I am truly blessed with the most amazing wife who embraced so much pain and betrayal and came out of this storm loving Jesus and me more than ever. Anna should have thrown me away like garbage, but she embraced Jesus nailed scarred hands and walked the Calvary road of sacrificial love and forgiveness. Our God is in the business of restoring marriages. Free Indeed believes this as well and we are open for business.
Ted Robinson, executive director Free Indeed
