Testimonies from 2016

Testimonies from 2016

Wife Learns The Power of Their Identity In Christ

A piece of homework we are required to do in the Wives Program is writing up a Power of Identity Statement that highlights who we are in Christ. I avoided doing it for a few days and had a bad attitude towards the task. I spent time silently thinking to myself, “This is so corny, why do I have to do this? How is this going to help anything?” That night, God unexpectedly spoke to me in a dream and addressed that question. In the dream, my husband was being tormented by a demonic spirit. I was with him but didn’t know how to pray in a way that would help him. I woke up and felt scared by what I had seen. I cried out to God saying, “God, what am I supposed to do? The dream can’t end like this!” God allowed me to go back into that same dream and He said to me, “THIS is why you need to know your Power of Identity Statement, and not just yours, but your husband’s as well.” He then showed me walking up to my husband as I confidently addressed the demonic spirit, and rebuked it through the power of identity statement my husband had written just days ago, claiming his life as God’s and God’s alone. The spirit instantly left him, knowing it had no place in his life. When I woke once more I realized the influence our words have, and how vital it is to know what the Word says about who we are in Christ Jesus. For without it, we would not be able to stand up against the enemy and see victory.
It doesn’t bother me whether you use my name. That can be up to you.
Thanks for your call and the encouraging words you spoke tonight! Connie, Wives Program

Wife Breaking Free with Gratitude

Hi Ted, I wanted to share with you how blessed I am by the materials I am going through with Anna! I sent her this text this morning :)
‘Wow!! This gratitude stuff is amazing!! Just finished making my lists!!
I am well-loved and well cared for!! My spirit is soaring!!
I couldn’t be better. I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW MY GOD IS WITH ME & HE IS DOING A MIRACULOUS WORK IN MY HEART AND MY MAN’s! Thank You for your important ministry. Mary Ann.

A Struggling Wife Finds Hope

Dear Anna,

Thank you so much for your encouragement. It is such a relief to know I’m not alone. I’m very thankful that he came to me when he did before things got too out of hand…but of course my heart just shattered at the news. We have a good marriage. I thought nothing was wrong. Although I half suspected some things, I pushed the thoughts away telling myself he would never dare put us through that because he loves us and is a godly man. So, when he told me I just felt sick that my suspicions were now indeed a fact. I felt betrayed and lied to and that hurt. But I could see his brokenness and humility and how much it hurt him that he broke my heart. I forgive him and love him so much…but I can see that it is going to be a daily decision to maintain the forgiveness and compassion as some days it seems to hurt worse than others. I married him for better or worse so I’m not going to give up on him. I pray God grants me the strength to do so because I truly want to help him through this. That’s amazing about your encounter with Bill Irwin and God’s healing work in your marriage.
Thanks again for being there for me, I really appreciate it.

Darlene

Hope For Those Betrayed in a Dating Relationship

I am a young 19 year old girl, and even though I’m not married to any man, pornography tore my heart apart. My best friend in the whole world and my technical but not-official boyfriend was deep in it.
My boyfriend is caring, loving, compassionate, and has been my best friend for 6 years.
He had been having a hard time with porn off and on for the first few years of our friendship, but it went away for a time, and since I wasn’t very emotionally involved with him yet, it didn’t bother me too much.
A few years passed and we found out we liked each other, but I wouldn’t officially date him because I knew that his addiction wasn’t completely taken care of. I refused to be second place in his life.
So we were unofficially dating, and I continued to wait for him to completely take care of his addiction, and it seemed to be getting better. Or so he told me.
Then he started to change. Over the course of the 4 months before I found out he had been lying to me, he became nastier. He already had untreated depression in the first place, which was another thing that added turmoil to his addiction, but the very little control he had had over his depression was suddenly lost. He was despairing almost constantly, he almost took his life several times, and the worst part of all (for me) was that he started yelling at me. He had never honestly yelled, as in raised his voice in anger at me. He is a very patient and loving friend and while he occasionally snapped, he never used to yell. Even when I was crying or visibly upset about something not related to him, he would flip his lid at me and be like “GET OVER IT!” and it shocked me, because I had already been abused verbally in previous years. When he was first getting to know me, he found out that I was sensitive and had promised to never verbally abuse me. So when he started being so nasty, it was startling and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
While I puzzled over that for a few weeks, I got excited for the Home-school prom that he and I were attending that year. I was looking forward to it- I got all dolled up and ready, and we had a great time. I gave him my very best- and we had a great time.
The next night, he texted me in tears. He said “Abby, porn won’t let go of me” and I said “you mean YOU won’t let go of IT?” and he said “yes” That was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever heard. He had just looked at porn, the day after prom. The day after I had dressed up, danced, spent the “time of my life” with the human I loved the most, he had thrown it all away for a girl on a computer screen. Even though it’s been almost 8 months since, it is still painful. The months that followed were torture. I became deathly afraid of him, had horrible, PTSD level dreams about him of him doing horrible things that he never ever would actually do- dreams of rape, torture, molestation…. dreams that had me waking up screaming, shaking, and afraid to even touch the phone to read texts from him. I lost weight and my ribs were visibly showing. I wasn’t bulimic, but I simply didn’t eat because I didn’t feel like it.
He also was heartbroken as he watched the effects of what he had done take a toll on me. For a time, I refused to let him hug me when I saw him. When I did, he had to hug me a certain way. I had panic attacks, and the first time I saw him after he had hurt me, I was shaking so hard I could barely stand.
Because of the selfishness he had let build inside him over time, even after I was hurting and distant from him, he continued to snap at me, out of his own pain and anger at himself, which did even more damage. Once I told him about the Freedom Fighters program through Free Indeed, and he was interested in doing it.
My parents had not known about his addiction, but had only seen me slowly deteriorating and becoming underweight and depressed. A few months after Phillip came clean with me and was honest, I told my parents about it. My Dad, angry that his daughter had been hurt so, told my boyfriend “You do this program with Free Indeed and take care of your depression, and in a year and a half, you get back to me and we will talk about you being with Austin again.” So all contact with my boyfriend was cut off. Our separation still continues, as it’s only been 4 months since my Dad stepped in.
The incredible part of this story is that the night my boyfriend was honest with me, Ted and Anna Robinson, the directors of Free Indeed, were staying at our house that night because they were presenting their ministry to my church the next morning.
So as I was crying, minutes after finding out I had been lied to, Ted and Anna were in the room next to me, and the next morning in church, I heard their stories. As I sat and listened to their testimonies, I kept thinking “oh my gosh, this is me and my boyfriend”. Anna’s story spoke to me the most, and I almost cried again because when she told her story, she was basically telling mine. Right after church I told my boyfriend about the men’s program and he thought about it. I knew I wasn’t married, but I still asked Ted and Anna if I could do the Wives Program. I didn’t do the Wives Program, but I did a slightly modified version of it, called the Future Wife program, with Anna as my coach.
But the most important point of all this is that through the Wives’ Program (or “Future Wife” program, since I’m not married), I learned and realized that I didn’t have to let what my boyfriend had done define me. Originally, I had, and my perspective of my self-worth and self-confidence was destroyed when I found out about his recurring addiction.
That fact in itself proved I had my value in the wrong things. I don’t get my worth from my boyfriend, my parents, or anyone else- I get it from Jesus Christ and from the fact that I am beautifully and uniquely made. But I needed help to learn that. Through the tools provided to me by Anna, the program materials, and most importantly Jesus Christ, I was able to heal and overcome the panic attacks and the bad dreams. The pain which is still comes up every once in a while is soothed by the reminder that Jesus Christ is more powerful and loving than anything that could ever happen to me, and the bad dreams about my boyfriend are now replaced with good ones.
I am thankful to my Dad for separating us, because without being emotionally removed from my boyfriend, I wouldn’t have been able to have the clarity and space I needed to heal.
Even if my boyfriend isn’t the man that God has for me, I still pray that he continues to become a strong man of God, and that through this experience he will learn new disciplines and new values for women and for what’s real and of infinite worth.
I have a new self-confidence and self-worth in Christ that I never would have rebuilt if this had never happened, which is why, even though I still miss my boyfriend dearly and still struggle occasionally with pain, I am thankful I went through this. I will remember this experience for the rest of my life and I will always carry the memories and the friendship I had with my boyfriend in my heart forever, no matter what happens.
I am thankful to Ted and Anna Robinson, that they serve the Lord in this incredibly capacity, and at times I know their job isn’t fun at all. But Jesus Christ has blessed them, their ministry, and I know that they will reap their full reward in heaven.
The closing reminder that want to give to any man or woman reading this is that you are a beautiful creation of God, no matter what anyone says or does. You will always be of infinite worth, and Jesus loves you, Abby.

Psalm 94: 18-19

Man Faces the Truth and Finds Freedom

For over ten years I have struggled with sexual sin. I had felt in bondage for so long, and spent much of my time deceiving myself as to what it would take to get out of this struggle. I had hoped for a quick, painless deliverance because I did not really want to have to do the work to attain freedom. I had also been deceived into thinking it would be impossible. This program helped me face a truth I was unwilling to face for a long time; the truth was that to truly attain freedom from my sexual addiction I would have to work hard. It has been through hard work and a persistent, faithful pursuit of God that I have gained a transformation by grace that I had hoped for. And, it was God himself who extended his grace to me to help give me the strength to really be transformed. God is truly faithful, just, full of grace and an amazing love that reaches into our very hearts to transform us from wretched creatures to saints saved by grace.
Timothy

Giving Thanks for Grace Extended

Hi Ted,
just want to thank you for this program where I have experienced victory. The counseling and accountability and most importantly, Christ by His grace. He is so good to us. May the Lord God continue to bless you and your staff and those currently being counseled by them. God Bless,
Jason.

Inspired To Be A Better Man

Hi Anna,
Can you pass this on to Ted? I wanted to share that when Bruce got off the phone with him tonight he came over to me and said, “Whenever I talk to Ted I want to be better, a better man, better in everything. There’s something about him that makes me feel different.” Thank you for being there for us.
Brittany

Husband Finds True Change, Wife Finds Hope

Hello Ted;
I am so in “Awe” of the miracle that is happening and I have prayed for years, the Lord has answered my prayer. My husband has realized he needs God… that he can’t do this alone. In the past few weeks, I have noticed a huge difference in his attitude, conduct and prayers. We have a meeting with our Pastor on Sunday evening after church. This program is so awesome and God has us in his hands, picking us up, putting us on his trail of VICTORY WITH HIS GRACE….
Thank you and God bless, Lisa.

Woman Finds Purity and Hope

I want to start off by saying that Free Indeed is one of the best things that has happened to me and my relationship with God.
I did both the Wives Program and the Create in Me a Pure Heart program.
My boyfriend had cheated on me three times. The first time he said it was just a mistake but by the second time he had confessed he was struggling with sexual addiction. I was devastated and hurt, angry, confused, so many emotions combined but I wanted him to receive help so he could get better. It was ultimately up to him whether he would find the help and unfortunately, he did not find it. He ended up cheating on me for a third time and after that third time we both knew and agreed he needed to get help. In my mind, he needed to get help for himself and for us but because I was so clouded by my pain I didn’t think about how he needed the help mainly for his own relationship with God.
One day, my boyfriend was listening to the Christian radio and a commercial for Free Indeed came on. With the information, he gathered, he took the right steps forward and reached out to Ted Robinson, the Executive Director of Free Indeed. I remember it was on a weekend because Ted got back to him right away which was shocking for me considering it wasn’t during the work week and yet here was Ted trying to help in any way he could right off the bat. They got to talking and my boyfriend told me there was a wife’s program I could enter to help with my own troubles from being cheated on. Of course, right away I knew I wanted to be in this program because I really needed help. I had been cheated on by the person I love three times and the emotions I was feeling were not healthy.
A meeting was set up with Anna Robinson, my coach, and she explained to me how I was living in sexual sin myself. You can imagine how confused I was at first. In my mind, I was with my boyfriend and having sex with my boyfriend, society would not say that was wrong, right? I never strayed from him. Yes, we were heavily trying to not participate in any sexual acts because we knew it was wrong and that God would not approve of sex before marriage but still I felt like I was not a sexual addict. I let Anna know my concerns and she assured me that this program would help get me to a better place with God and with myself. That it will give me the tools to stop having sex with my boyfriend and save that intimacy for marriage. And so, began my walk down the narrow path with Free Indeed and thanks be to God because it was amazing and necessary.
Anna was there for me every step of the way. I fell plenty of times and she was right there with me to pick me back up. One of the things I am most thankful for is what this program has done for my relationship with God. Not only am I on the road to being completely free from sexual sin, but my relationship with God is at a place where it is strong and it is powerful. I cannot express how thankful I am. God placed Anna and this program in my life for a reason and I truly believe and know in my heart that this program has helped me open myself up to God. If I keep walking this path and keep growing and nurturing my relationship with God, he is going to continue to give me strength and I hope to one day help another person as much as Anna has helped me. I am overwhelmed with joy knowing God is with me and he is there for me and he loves me. My God is amazing and he loves me.
I want to be a voice for anyone who is living in sexual sin with a loved one before marriage. Despite was society has told you and despite was today’s culture deems as normal, sex before marriage is not normal and it is not right. Please seek out help to go down the right path. Trying to not have sex before marriage is not easy and I can tell you first hand that this program was not easy but nothing worth having is always easy. Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. “For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” Be the few who find it.
Donna

Hope For Those Battling Homosexuality

Having grown up in a good Christian home, I knew my gay lifestyle was wrong but could not seem to break free. Things got so bad, I could not stand it anymore. The torment was unbearable. I decided to make a break for it and move back home to new England from the South. Like the prodigal returning with nothing, that’s how I felt. My Church rallied around me, especially one dear woman. She told me about a local ministry called Free Indeed and said they could help. I called them and they were quick to set me up with a coach and help me find an accountability partner. I wanted my mother to do it, but they said it would be good for me to have healthy relationships with men and this was a good way to start. It was a long slow process of change and I’m not saying I don’t struggle anymore, because I do. What has changed is that I am no longer a slave to my attractions or addictions and I have the strength to resist the draw to my old ways. Free Indeed has been the support I have needed to break free. I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Joe

If you or someone you know is trapped in the vicious cycles of sexual addiction or suffering from the pain of betrayal, there is help for you at Free Indeed. We help people overcome pornography addiction, same sex attraction and all other forms of sexual sin/addiction. We have coaches standing by to give you one on one support.